The Chronicles of Japania Day 6: Harajuku

The night before I made the trek back to Nagoya and now early today I'm hopping on a train and heading back to Tokyo. About a 2 hour trip or so. My cousin again tells me to meet them in Harajuku around noonish. Harajuku is a pretty big shopping district in Tokyo so I was excited to see what it was all about.

I arrive about 11 or so and start walking around checking the place out. Pretty cool although I didn't see a whole lot of stores except for a gigantic GAP. I found an alley and it looked like a long street of shops but more along the lines of mom and pop shops. So I took a walk around and it wasn't long before I was bombarded with Africans telling me to come into their stores and try on the clothes in their store. 1. I don't trust black guys in foreign countries and 2. Kevin said stay away from all the Africans in Japan as most are crooks or hustlers. So I kindly decline all 7000 of their invitations. No negro I do not want to try on your FUBU jeans.

I make my way all the way down the alleyway into one of the main streets and have a look. Ahh, here we go. All the shopping is here apparently with huge department stores and even some familiar brands sprinkled about. I call my cousin to see where their at, their gonna be a little late. Like 3 hours late. I'm on my own for awhile. I decided to tackle some lunch before I explore. I had many conversations with myself today as I was solo for most of it. And this was the first.

Brain - dude, your in Japan and your gonna eat mcdonalds?
Gene - i heard they have a few different things like a teriyaki burger and stuff
Brain - dont do it.. look ramen right across the way
Gene - come onnn....
Brain - dont do ittt

I had no idea what to order so I pointed to something that I thought might have been something different. It wasn't. Well technically it was. I ended up ordering a quarter pounder but the one in Japan has lettuce in tomato in it. What did it taste like? It tasted like a quarter pounder with lettuce and tomato in it. I wrap up lunch and walk back towards the main street through 50 more africans. I get to the main street and hang a right. I walk for a second and then..

Brain - dooooode, the new cowboys stadium is in Japan?
Gene - .... holy crap
Brain - its huuuuggeee, who plays here?
Gene - dude... thats a freakin forever 21....
Brain - daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

I continue past the monstrosity and come to some department store. Looks pretty poppin so I walk inside to check it out. Hey not too shabby. Japan department stores are a little different. There is only like 4-8 stores per floor but there are like 8-12 floors. So you just keep taking escalators up and down. I explore a little bit and I hear something...

Gene - is that...?
Brain - is what? what are you talking about?
Gene - shush, listen...
Brain - ok I'm leaving, your crazy

I make my way to the sound I'm hearing. I speed up as a I get closer to the sound. I need to be sure. Is it? I round the corner and I run into a teen girl accesorry shop or something. "...she wears high heels I wear sneakers shes cheer captain and IMM on the bleachers.. " YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I was right. Taylor Swift in Japan! I hang out jamming to the song as 15 year olds shop for eye make up and the like.

I end up at some store called "Moussy Extreme." They only sell girls clothes and their stuff is pretty cool. I'm looking at some stuff and I can feel the employees eyes on me. And the eyes can speak. They are saying "does this retarded foreigner know he is shopping for girls clothing?" This happened quite often on my trip actually. I stress out once again on how to obtain the correct size on something. After a little bit I was like forget it and I just left.

Around 3 oclock rolls around and its time to meet my cousin up. I tell her to meet me in front of the gigantic space ship Forever 21. I get there first and I'm chillin on the rail and I see this dude walk by. I mean you always hear that Japanese fashion was a little bit ahead of the curve but this?? Let me paint a picture for you. For those of you who know my uncle picture him with some long hair and a busted tan. Long hair dont care. If you don't know him then think of an older man.. say 58 years old. Short. Like 5'1 or something. Ok so this dude is walking by me. Lets start at the top. He is wearing a red plaid buttton up shirt. Looks a little feminine but no big deal. You go to the next article and he has a pink cloth belt on. What was the belt actually on though? It was on a pair of denim SHORT SHORTS. Like mid thigh length. But I guess that wasn't AS bad since he was wearing PANTIE HOSE all the way up. To top it off. PINK CROCS for his shoes. And it didnt even match his belt. Oh and he had a back pack on too. I couldn't not stare. Was so stunned I couldn't even get to my camera in time before he disappeared into the horizon never to be seen again.

Gene - That was the shit
Brain - That was beyond the shit
Gene/Brain - Worrdd...

I finally meet up with dear cousin and we walk around the city some. Her hubby also had a cousin that llived there so he was showing us around. My cousin had a hair appointment so we take her to that and the boys go off on their own after dropping them off. We shop around some but we really we go food hunting. The first thing we tried was this thing called "takoyaki" which is like..octopus balls. I mean not like... octopus balls. Not like the testicles of an octopus but they made this like... ball of gooey goodness. Ok bad choice of words. IT WAS like this rice mixture and they stuck a piece of octopus in the middle. Anyways it was delicious. We wander some more and wander right into another restaurant. Gyoza this time which are Japanese dumplings. One of my favorite foods and it too was awesome. We finish that and head towards the hair salon. I was informed that Harajuku was known for their crepes. So I decided to give one a try. I went to look at their menu which is actually a case of all their crepes made out of wax so you can see what it looks like. Dude, the craziest crepes you have ever seen. I order the one with a cheesecake inside of it. A CHEESECAKE. INSIDE. MY CREPE. It was pretty good too. We finish that and we are pretty stuffed. My cousin gets done with her hair cut and meets us up. Ready for dinner guys?!..... Uh... its getting late. I'm gonna catch a train back to Nagoya guys. Say my goodbyes and I'm off.

I get to the station and hop on a train. Little did I know there were 3 different lines. Theres the Nozomi which is the fastest one and least amount of stops. But my rail pass doesnt allow me to get on that train. Theres the Hikari line which only has a few stops so it takes about 2 hours to get back to Nagoya. And theres the Kodama line, which I got on, and it stops at every single stop on the way to Nagoya. Took me a little over 3 hours to get back. That sucked. Effing Kodama line I swear...

Get back pretty tired called it a night and went to sleep.

p.s. i found dr pepper in tokyo. i think the japanese version only has 20 of the 23 flavors that we have. curious.

The Chronicles of Japania Day 4 and 5: Hakone

Ok the next day and a half are going to make for a boring email. I mean it was cool for me to see everything but nothing very exciting and doesn't make for very good stories. But the show must go on. Here we go...

Ok with the massage out of the way what to do now? Lets go outside and see what the rest of the town looks like. Its just bout 5pm now and I figure I grab a snack before dinner. Step outside and all the shops and restaurants that were open when I arrived have already shut down. And the sun is about done setting and its getting dark all around. But it wasn't even 5 oclock yet. A few more minutes of exploring and I'm quickly finding out it gets creepy out here really quickly. Dark roads and deserted shops at every corner with no lights anywhere. Dude, it looks like the grudge girl lives out here. I knew it. Hell na, ain't gonna get me. I'm going back inside.

Only thing left to do. NAKED TIME. We trek our way out to the Onsen area to see what it was all about. A bit confusing at first as we couldn't read the Japanese signs to point us where to go. We finally figure out you go that way for women and this way for men. Make my way to the locker room and get changed. Well you don't even get changed you just kind of get naked and get into the water. *James and Mike I'll send you a more detailed version* Anyway the water is hot as hell but its refreshing and relaxing. I started in the indoor Onsen to see how it is first. Even though it was indoor, the bathhouse was built around the natural springs so the water coming in was still natural spring water. So sat in that for a little while then I see someone else get up out of his bath and walk right outdoors. Naked of course. I'm like damn that dude is a thug cause its super cold outside. Hmm should I try it and see what its like outside? After a little bit I decided I'm going outside. Walk outside and the cold win hits your skin real quick and man its cold. Hop in the water as fast as you can to stay warm. It feels even nicer outside. Chilled out there for a good 15 minutes or so before I was ready to bounce. You get up out of the water and steam just be coming out your body like you some kind of super hero. Feel pretty gangster actually... Start flexing and whatnot for no reason cause your steamin...its only natural.

Get dressed head back to the room to get ready for dinner. Wasn't really feeling this dinner as it was a more traditional Japanese set course with alot of fish. Not really my thing. Probably the only time you will hear me say I didn't like the food I ate. I wasn't eating much so I was having a gander around the room and right behind us there was a little incident brewing. Some people were upset cause their food was coming out too slow or something? They started causing a little scene. Bu its like come on man relax, your at the beautiful place obviously meant for relaxing. So just relax! Whats the big rush for? Take it easy guey. And then I figured it out. They were speaking chinese, chinese mofo's. Probably from Taiwan cause thats the country of bitches. And well they were being bitches so it made sense to me. Leave it to some chinese people to be impatient about something and start yelling at super nice and polite Japanese waiters.

Hmm now I'm still hungry. But wait, there's its ok as the hotel offers free bowls of noodles from ten pm to midnight. Excellent. I leave my $80 dinner fully hungry and hit the free probably $5 in value bowl of noodles. Damn it was good.

That wraps up the night. I head back to the room completely relaxed from the bath and hit the hay. With the lights on of course. I think I heard a noise...just in case.

The next day was even less exciting in story form. The pictures whenever I get around to it will paint a much better picture. Basically we went around Hakone doing various things. Blah Blah Blah Day 6 will be a bit better as I head to Harajuku in Tokyo.

The Chronicles of Japania Day 4: Hakone, The City of "Onsen"

My newlywed cousin Tina was also in Japan at this time and today they have reservations at a resort in the city of Hakone. The city is a city of Onsen, which is the natural hot springs bath you always see on TV. Kevin thought it was definitely worth it to experience and suggested I join them in the mountains. I agreed and Kevin made the reservation for me to head out there. He gave me train directions to get there and it looks like about 4 different train changes. So I was ready to head out early that morning and make my way out there.

Gene - Dang it, dude i forgot to bring a swimsuit with me
Kevin - uh..what the hell would you need that for?
Gene - um..for the..hot spring bath?
Kevin - (shaking his head)
Gene - no?
Kevin - no dude...those arent allowed...
Gene - so....naked time?
Kevin - naked time brotha
Gene - i see...
Kevin - is that gonna be a problem?
Gene - no no, naked time is cool...

I get there some 3 hours later after multiple train switches. It seems the further I get from the city the less english is used all around. I get to the city and I finally meet a rude Japanese worker. Seems like he hates his job. Anyway I get through that and come out from the train station and get a look at the city. Gorgeous place. We are up in the mountains so its quite a different view of what I`ve seen already. Hills and trees and forest and crisp air everywhere.

Now I`m trying to find my hotel and not having much luck. No english on any of the signs. I finally find what I think is the place. The name is in Japanese and the only way I figured out it was the right one was spending 15 minutes matching the symbols to what I had on my sheet of paper.
I go in and its a really really nice place. It better be for it being $250 a night on a freakin weekday. I hang out for awhile and then my cousin and her hubby finally arrive. We check in to our respective rooms and we go check them out. Pretty cool looking. My room was the western style so it was a little different from my cousins who has a Japanese style room. I have a look around and things look pretty normal, I have a normal bed you see everyday, a normal coffee table and normal toilet. I step outside to the balcony and find a traditional Japanese wooden bath! So cool! In this place they have their spring baths all over the hotel, around the hotel and they also have one right in your very own room. Sweet. Then I look around for my bathroom. I find the toilet, but its just a toilet. Where the crap is my shower?? I don`t have one. Only thing is the outdoor bath...in the cold weather...in the mountains. Crap.　I run over to my cousins room down the hall to check their room out. Theirs is twice as big as mine and cooler than mine as it has the traditional Japanese stuff in it. Peep the pictures when I upload them. I was like dude.. we don`t have showers. Their like..um..yes we do. And they point to their shower..indoor. MEEHHH.

My cousin shows me a flyer that the hotel offers massages and stuff like that. I was like sweet. Lets do it. She calls and books the appointments and gets me the 60 minute shiatsu massage. We have a little time so we head down stairs and pick up Kimonos that they let us borrow while we are there. So we get changed and are walking around in Kimonos and Japanese slippers and all that. Pretty funny, but awesome. Time for massage. Went to the place and wait our turn and a nice little lady comes out to escort me into the room. Was so ready, I really needed it since I`ve been having a bit of a back and neck problem lately. So looking forward to this.

The next 60 minutes turned out to be the most treacherous and painful hour of my 27 years on this planet. HOLY mother of ALLL that is pure and heavenly. She started on my neck and back and the entire time I was clenching my teeth and I would have been begging for her to stop, but it hurt so bad I could not project any sound out of my mouth. I guess my back area was in worse shape than I thought. I have to tough it through. This was nothing short of torture. Jack Bauer has not seen anything like this before. A little bit in she was working my neck and I let out a gay girly yelp. And she lets up just a little and ask me the question "pain?" What I was thinking in my head was "EFFFF YEA PAIN, ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDIDNG ME??!?!?" Unable to speak correctly I muttered out in the gayest bitch voice ever "uh huhh." I think she giggled and continued on relentlessly. I thug it out as best as I could for the next half an hour and she flips me around face up and breathe a sigh of relief. She works my arms and legs and it doesn`t hurt. It feels great. Then she starts massaging my head and that also feels nice. What happened next made the first 45 minutes feel like childs play. HOLY HELL MAN. She gets to my temple and starts rubbing it and OH MY GOD I thought I was getting my eyes gouged out. My entire body clenches up and I`m frozen in absolute pain. Its boggling my mind, how did she manage to exceed the previous pain ten fold????? I know she sees the torture written on my face but she doesn`t let up. I`m thinking WHY won`t she stop, she sees the pain. Jesus I can`t describe how much it hurt. As I`m remembering what happened I`m starting to cry a little bit as I type this. After she gets to my temple area she won`t stop. She goes on for like ten minutes or so and I can only think that she won`t let up cause she knows its a really stressful area. I`m clenching so hard I damn near peed in my kimono. I swear the tears rolling down my cheeks turned to blood. MOM HELP!!!

She finally finishes and smiles at me and says "finished!" I`m out of breath and a little dizzy. I get up and stumble and struggle to find my shoes. I finally gather my thoughts and leave. She goes to find another lady that speaks english and tells her something in Japanese. The other lady comes up to me and says, she says your eyes are tired. Do you not sleep or something? I`m like..actually yes, I don`t sleep very well. Shes like thats why it hurt so much. Your eyes need more rest. You should try to sleep more. Fantastic advice. As if i try not to sleep on purpose. Damn that hurt so bad. You know what, the days not even done with and I can`t finish this. I`m traumatized reliving that massage. I mean my body felt really good after the fact, but while it was happening..... gah. I`ll finish up my Hakone experience with the next email.

take care kiddos