jeanius

Sudden obsession with jeans. Jeezums its a terrible addiction man. How did this all come about anyways? Let me take you back to a night once upon a time...

I don't even really remember what we were doing that night. Just remembered we were going out somewhere with a couple of friends. I had picked up a friend and went on to meet another friend. Soon as a stepped out of the car...

Me: Hey..whats up
Friend: NEW JEANS!!!!!!!
Me: Huh!? Wha?! Whats going on?!
Friend: YOU GOT NEW JEANS!!!
Me: Dang... how did you know so fast?? its dark out here!
Friend: Dude seriously?? you got like...3 pairs total.
Me: Dang why you gotta call me out like that??
Friend: You only wear like one pair dude, and its not that one.. SO ITS NEW!!
Me: Crap maybe i should get some new jeans..
Friend: uh YEA you should, i got like 60 pairs
Me: 60!?! i bet you only wear like 5 of em huh...
Friend: Don't hate

So that started it all. I set out to have more jeans. Started out as an amateur and rightfully so, picking up some ok jeans here and there. But something was missing.. what was it? Baller jeans, duh. And since I'm a self proclaimed baller anyway, might as well go for it. Ended up at a far away place that had some pretty ballerific jeans...

Friend: Dude, gotta get some man.
Me: Na man.. a bit out of my league, not used to spending this much on jeans.
Friend: Dude, feel these. Feel how soft they are.
Me: Whats the big deal, its just a pair of j... ....oh my. These ARE soft.
Friend: Try them on yo.

And that was that. The beginning of an era. So it began. Now i had some guidlines to go by courtesy of my jeans mentor. Softness, comfort, wash and fit. Got em coach. I got it. But I was still young and not experienced enough and still had alot to learn.

Me: Sifu, Sifu. How about these?
Sifu: *backhand slap* Have I taught you nothing? Feel the texture of those. Smell the poor materials that they are made of. Out of my sight!

But I perservered. Trying to get better and better everyday. Only way to get better? Buy more jeans of course. And so i did. Not to long ago my closet had nary an option as far as jeans go. Now? I actually have some sort of choice. And the addiction isn't slowing down. More, More! MORE!

Me: SIFU! I got you these! what do you think??
Sifu: hmm, eh. Not bad. These are ok, do away with these.

Sifu would never say it, but Sifu was proud. I could tell.

All this accumulated to last night when I was trying on my latest pair at home. Seriously, they were softer than a swimming pool full of named brand marshmallows. Called for my cousin...

Me: Dude, come check out these jeans. FEEL THEM!
Cousin: ZOMG, so soft!!
Me: I know! What you think? Look alright?
Cousin: Dude.. what the hell man? Your..hot?
Me: What??
Cousin: Na, dude...like.. the girl kind of hot. Those jeans make your ass look better. Your... gay.
Me: *raises hand in victory as my cousin walks out of my room*

I follow her to her room.

Me: EH? EH? EH?
Cousin: Your such a chick. My cousin is a homo. Get out of my room
Me: Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful.


til next time kiddos
gt